Yes, you heard correctly. Rosstache is back this year and better than ever. For those of you not familiar with this particular event, let me fill you in on the secret. Rosstache is month-long moustache growing competition where Rossers sacrifice their vanity in order to raise money for charity. It is usually amongst the men, but since we don’t discriminate here at Ross women are highly encouraged to participate (more on this below). Each contestant is responsible for two things: growing the most awesomest stache they’ve ever seen and gathering donations from friends & family for charity. This year we will be raising funds for the Penrickton Center for Blind Children (more info on them on the side). Judging will happen at the RSA happy hour scheduled for March 26th. We’ll provide more details about the actual night of the event and what categories the competition entails at a later date, but we wanted to get it kicked off right now. Just remember to take your clean shaven pics now, sign up with us and then listen up for details to follow.
If you don’t have time to read this all, please visit our website for more information. Our website will be updated frequently with pics from contestants, memorable stories from previous years and inspirational words of wisdom from the Stache Trust.
This year, the extended spring break allows us to create a category so dangerous, so demanding, that it has never before been offered in the history of Rosstache. Not for the faint of heart, this category – aptly named the Smokey and the Bandit – is only for the manliest of men, who dare grow the ‘stache during Spring Break, willfully exposing themselves to throngs of lustful, mustache-adoring spring breakers around the world. We’re gonna split up Rosstache into 2 Divisions: Smokey & the Bandit and Cop & a half (think NBA and NBA D-League, FBS/FCS, Serie A/Serie B, etc…). The entries for the first, and most reputable, will start tomorrow, Monday, February 16. The latter grouping will initiate moustache growing on the first day of Winter A (Monday, March 9) – these are the types of “men” who may think it necessary to be clean shaven for spring break to help improve their “chances”. I implore them not to worry, women dig scruff. In fact, a hot MAcc was recently quoted as saying “I love the stache” – so grow those lip brooms far and wide and join the real men in the first group. The requirement is that you show up clean shaven to our booth in the Winter Garden Mon-Wed (12-5) or at happy hour on Thursday. If you can’t make it to any of these locations (i.e. MAP travel, newly developed hermit behavior, frequent molting) send an email to burtreynoldsclub@umich.edu attaching a photo of you holding up a current newspaper (think hostage situation) with a face as smooth as a baby’s bottom.
For those of you worried about MAP travel, DON’T. We’ll have an “in absentia” category for those that can’t physically make it on March 26th. For those who are worried about their lip broom affecting the productivity of their MAP team and/or still working on securing various forms of employment, do not fret. It has been scientifically proven that a good stache improves your chances by 72.7%.* But if you feel the need for a stachetrust bailout, then take a picture of that stache before you shave it and enter it into the “TARP” category (to be judged by the crowd at the final judging event).
Women of Rosstache: this will be a separate category where females who do not wish to grow their own lip brooms can obtain a fake moustache from the Rosstache team and submit a photo of them wearing this magical moustache to be judged at the final competition at Skeeps (creativity rewarded).
Finally, for the first time ever, an event of EPIC proportions: THREE professors have agreed to go HEAD-2-HEAD-2-HEAD in a stache-off. That’s right, your favorite mustachioed professors (Gautam Kaul, Damien Beil and Gautam Ahuja) have agreed to a competition for this charitable event with the loser shaving off their oh-so-beloved facial hair. How does this work, you ask??? Well, you will be given the opportunity to donate for the professor you’d most like see keep his cookie duster. The two professors that raise the most funds will be allowed to keep their stache, whilst the other will be doomed to shave it before our final judging event. So get out there and donate for the ballyhooed stache you’d like to stay – and feel free to shamelessly urge your friends to do the same.
In Burt We Trust,
The Burt Reynolds’ Club Executive Team
